It’s the day before the first day of distance learning and I’m feeling weird. Against my better judgement, I’m listening to the White House press briefing. It’s full of half-truths and misinformation, denials and thin skin. Why am I listening? I’m not sure, really. I think I have a need to witness history, even when it’s terrifying.

I think I’m ready for tomorrow and I know what I’m going to be doing, but I always feel like I’m missing something, so this is no different. I’m excited to see what happens and I’m worried I’m forgetting to do something. I don’t know what is going to happen and I guess we’re all going to adjust once we know what’s going on. I’ve heard from some students and some parents.

Today I slept off and on almost all day. I’m still tired but I’m trying to keep myself up long enough to call it a night. I’m sleeping badly at night but sleeping a ton during the day when I can. Everyone I’ve talked to has said they are struggling with sleep. When I do sleep, I dream crazy teaching dreams, probably because I’m concerned about how things will go tomorrow.

Last night I dreamed I led a student revolt of sorts, but we were all in this big space, the whole district, and there was a bunch of speeches by “very important people” and students were bored. Everyone was complaing that THIS IS NOT SOCIAL DISTANCING. So when there was a musical break, I led a conga line and we conga’d right out of the auditorium, which happened to be right into a shut-down mall. The chain-door to the mall was halfway down and we ducked underneath it. Kids scattered, free and moved far away from each other in small groups. The program in the auditorium/gym like place was still going on; some very important person was singing gospel music. There was some sort of dancing going on, and someone who was apparently some sort of director was angry that things weren’t going the way he wanted them to. He was mad at me, but I told him I’d never seen him in a sweatshirt before (it was a red sweatshirt). Apparently that shut him down hard. Somehow, in my dreamworld, wearing a sweatshirt instead of a suit is a terrible insult, one that this director could not respond to, due to his embarrassment. Not sure what that part means.

Tomorrow we start a new system and we’re going to see how it all goes. I’m glad I am quick on my feet, relatively good with technology, and I’m not worried about being perfect. I’m mostly just excited to talk to kids and see how it goes. Not much else to do.

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