I’m just kind of pissed off and things are setting me off and I just need to be left alone for a while. My guts have been sore since I had some unhealthy food the other day and I’m both annoyed by my sore guts and annoyed that I can’t eat junk food anymore without the accompanying pain. I’ve been extra sensitive to negative feelings and unable to read people. This is great because then I read people’s nonverbals the wrong way and I don’t get the real context of what is being said.

I’m frustrated and feeling a lot more imposter syndrome lately. I’m battling the thoughts that creep up and remind me of all the dumb things I did 25 years ago – or yesterday – that clearly marked me as a weirdo.

I still do dumb awkward things, but I hope I do them better or at least with more flair. I hope I’m not doing harm that I don’t realize. I hope that I’m helping and having a positive impact in my career and at home, but I’m really questioning that at times lately.

I know a lot of this is caused depression (and the weather isn’t helping) and my own insecurities and the seasonal stresses of money and time. It helps to just grow that out into the universe and out of my head, at least for the time being. I can go back to my crampy tummy and electric blanket and put away the pity party and try to get a little sleep.