It’s hard to write every day and try not to be repetitive. Sometimes, nothing new comes up. Sometimes I am just generally content and things are going pretty well for the most part and I just don’t have much going on in my mind. I mean, don’t get me wrong, there’s stuff going on up there ALL THE TIME. But a lot of the time it’s gibberish, like repeating lyrics from the last annoying song I heard. Not the last song either. The last annoying song. And it’s mashed up with an obscure song from the late 80s because, for some reason, the songs from my early teens are lodged in my deep memory and come out whenever they feel like it.

In the morning, pre-medication, it’s really bad in my brain. I need to repeat to myself what I need to do over and over, like I’m chanting a mantra. In the shower it’s wash my body, wash my hair. Rinse my body, rinse my hair. I just think that over and over in a rhythm and then I can actually remember what I need to do. Otherwise, I’ll get stuck thinking of all kinds of things until the water starts to get cold, then I’ll forget to rinse one side of my body or wash my hair. After the shower, it’s find clothes put on clothes find earrings, then make lunch, pour coffee, eat breakfast. It’s a constant stream of directions if I actually want to get out of the house somewhat put together, fed, and on time.

I almost wrote “…if I actually want to get out of the house somewhat sheveled” right there. It’s the opposite of disheveled. It’s not a word, but it’s what my brain wanted to put there. Then I had to think about what was the appropriate word for “sheveled.” My autocorrect really wants that to say “shelved.” I don’t blame it.

Anyway, I’ll leave you with a student’s interpretation of my crappy handwriting. I wrote “Ok – start.” Like “okay, you have a start here.” I want him to translate everything I handwrite.