Today was what a summer day was supposed to feel like: I slept in for a while, got up and went to the farmers market in the rain, took a long afternoon nap, and had a delicious, fresh dinner with family. We played some trivia tonight and went to bed at a relatively reasonable hour.

This summer, I got really depressed and struggled sometimes to get myself to do things, even the basics. I couldn’t stay motivated to do anything, which was frustrating because there were things I would have liked to have done. I wish I understood why it happens; I suppose it’s part brain chemistry and then the feelings are reinforced with behavior, which becomes habit, which is hard to break.

I hope once we’re back on a schedule, things will be a bit better. I was anxious about this year at school, since it was up in the air a little bit and I wasn’t entirely sure what was happening. I began last year at Forest Lake so this was my first opening week at a new district in so long. The year starts differently at Roseville too, with only the 7th/9th graders at school the first day and a different schedule all week, pretty much. Relationship building is the expectation for the first week and I just want to do great and make a good first impressions. I’m anxious.

This really diverged from my original title and idea, which was that it was a good day and I need days like today more often. I guess I’m feeling more anxious than I thought.