I wasn’t feeling inspired by anything in particular, so I googled “journal topics,” which led to a bunch of websites with questions for teachers to give students. I started reading one that had some pretty basic questions, but then, it got weird. Here are some of the questions (with my answers).

What if cows gave root beer instead of milk? Why are we asking this question? If we lived in this world, would other mammals also “give root beer?” Would humans? …this is getting weird.

What would happen if it really did rain cats and dogs? This is an awful question! If dogs and cats fell from the height of clouds, they would die terrible deaths upon impact. There would be blood everywhere. We would need to plow the bodies from the street. Why would we ask anyone this?

What would happen if everyone wore the same clothes? This actually isn’t a very clear question. Like, would we all be in the same single piece of clothing, like a giant shirt? Or would we all be wearing the same type of clothing? I suppose this could be a fun question to write about if you think about clothing as a function of personal expression and what would happen if it no longer functioned that way. To me, it would just be super easy to decide what to wear each day.

What would happen if you threw a piece of trash on the ground? What if everyone did? This feels like a pretty basic question. I mean, I suppose it depends on what the piece of trash was, but I think most people have accidentally dropped something that could be classified as “trash.” Being disgusting by purposefully throwing trash on the ground is a dick move, though, so while nothing would probably happen if I throw a candy wrapper out the car window, I wouldn’t ever do it anyway because I’m not an asshole.

What would you do if your jelly sandwich fell upside down on the floor? Um… clean it up? Get the dog to eat it? Lose my shit and go on a rampage? Depends on my mood I guess.

What would you do if the surprise party was for you but you weren’t surprised? What is this asking? Like, would I fake being surprised? Probably a little, maybe? There aren’t exactly a lot of options to answer this and still be tactful. I mean, what are you going to do, scream at the people for being bad at keeping secrets? Leave the party because they were poor planners and thus don’t deserve your presence? Just say “yeah, whatever” and walk in? This is a dumb question.

There are SO MANY MORE. I know it’s hard to come up with journal prompts that inspire everyone (I’ve tried), but come on. There really are stupid questions.

Unrelated: I read the blog recently and realized the ads are really close to the bottom and they are ugly, so I’m going to try to put photos down at the bottom so that at least there is a buffer. The ads on this site are bad, so here’s a cute puppy with some wood.