I have always been fascinated with extremism, probably because I don’t have a long enough attention span to get too extreme, although I’m not really sure. Maybe some of you think I’m extreme. But I’ve never really understood why anyone would be a member of a hate group or put that much time into actively hating something or someone or groups of people.

Today I read this article about Life After Hate and ex-extremists. It really helped me to understand some of it in ways I didn’t before. The idea that hate is an addiction and that it is largely grown after joining a group makes a lot of sense. The “3 Ns” – needs, narrative, and network – provide a useful paradigm for understanding why people join and stay in these groups. I feel like thinking about these three areas could be helpful in considering all kind of behavior actually, not just extremism.

The thing that is probably the most difficult to swallow is that shaming, calling out, and otherwise disowning racist individuals just entrenches them further in the ideology. It leaves anti-racists (like I try to be) in a difficult place, maybe? Like, I won’t condone racism in any way and I won’t stay quiet, but how do we express displeasure and disagreement, how do we shut racism down, without making it worse?

I feel pulled back and forth. Sometimes I’m firmly in the “punch the Nazis” camp, but other times I wonder if peaceful responses and (dare I say) kindness are better ways to handle them.

Note – I am talking about overt racism, not the institutional racism that lives around us, in the geography of our lives. I am talking about extremists who live their lives in hate groups. I know that the everyday, casual, structural racism is much more difficult to confront and battle, and probably more important to work on.

Still, as someone who has read about and wondered about and worried about hate groups, today I learned something new and got a new perspective. For that I am grateful.