So I’ve been having all sorts of feelings with the end of the year, and I can’t totally sort them all out. I felt guilty and weird for a long time after leaving Forest Lake in the middle of the year, but that had kind of faded and I had just been enjoying teaching in general. Then the end of the year came along, and all the weirdness came back.

I felt like I was on the edge of tears all afternoon after checking out for the school year. It’s not like I’m not excited for summer, although I don’t know what’s happening this summer aside from the next couple weeks of kid activities. It just feels weird. It’s the first time in 15 years I haven’t checked out at Forest Lake. Needless to say, the procedures were different, the expectations different, just everything felt weird.

So I’m processing again. I’m feeling new and inexperienced again. Everyone around me knows what’s happening all around, and I’m just over here like “what do I do?”

I’m feeling sad and I’m not really sure why. I’m super happy at my new school; it’s a much better fit for me. I know I’ll be back next year and I’m so glad to have all the amazing colleagues I have. But I’m feeling really sad anyway, like a sense of loss. I want to try to relax this summer and regain some perspective before going back. I hope there is time.