Wow. I had a great week at school. My kids did excellent on their Romeo and Juliet quizzes today. We’ve had a great time reading it and playing with it, and they are doing so well. My 12th graders are doing some creative writing using the story lines and interview/narrative structure of the novel we’ve been reading, and today, a kid said “I think this is the best work I’ve actually ever done…” and I was so proud and told him, “that’s how it SHOULD be – your best work at the end of your high school career!” Things have been good.

Then I got a chance to look at the news. Shooting in Texas high school. No one saw it coming. Quiet boy, made no trouble. Played football. Ten people killed. Parents and friends looking for people they haven’t heard from. Ten or more injured. Hundreds hiding in classrooms, desks pushed up against doors. One girl being interviewed said, incredulously, “it just happened.” Yep. There was another shooting at/near a graduation in Georgia. Don’t know the details yet.

Tonight we went to Annika’s school fun fair. My mind kept coming to the news, wondering what would happen if someone showed up to a fun fair with a gun, where would we go? What would we do? We’ve been going to this fun fair every year since Anders was in pre-K. This is the first time I ever felt like maybe it wasn’t a safe place to be. It was sad.

I am writing this while Annika is playing DJ with her music, introducing me to all her current favorite songs – Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello are getting some serious play time tonight – and I’m reflecting on what this all means. I don’t think of my job as an inherently dangerous one. I’m certainly not a fisherman in Alaska or an underwater welder for oil rigs or something. But the truth is, more people have been killed in US schools than in the US military this year. I am not arguing more military personnel should be killed. But you’d think schools would be a safer place than in the military actively.

I feel like have gone from joy to sorrow, back and forth, so much lately. I’m sad we are in this place, culturally. I’m sad this is even a thing, that kids make the choice to commit these acts. Something is deeply hurt and broken.