So last night was one of the weirdest nights of my life. For those who don’t know, here is the FB post I wrote just after the police left and we went back to bed. I was too awake to sleep, but writing it down helped:

Just a few minutes ago, I woke up to a couple dog barks and I sort of heard pounding on the door. I saw lights moving outside the bedroom door and tried waking Dak up because I didn’t know what was going on and I was scared.

Then there was a knock at the bedroom door. Pam (Dak’s mom who is staying with us this weekend) said “Dak?” And I responded because Dak doesn’t wake up quickly but I was definitely awake by then. She said “Dak, the police are here and they want to see you.” Then I heard a male voice. I think he said “police.”

Finally Dak got up, half awake. I hopped out of the bed, then moved more carefully as I opened the door because I didn’t want to startle anyone coming out of the door. I was scared. I kept my hands visible and walked out slowly into a flashlight held by one of two police officers who had walked all the way into our living room.

They asked Dak if he was okay at first – are you suicidal or homicidal? – then explained that they had gotten a hangup call in crisis that pinged near here and gave Dak’s name and number. Of course Dak hadn’t called. He was barely awake. They asked about an address on Iowa Ave, which is a few blocks from us, but it wasn’t familiar. They thanked us and left.

After they left, I found out that they hadn’t asked Pam to actually enter our house. They asked to talk to Dak and Pam said yes and came in to get him, and they followed. Why?

If I were an optimist, I would say they were concerned about Dak. If I were a cynic, I’d say they were looking through our house. I’m neither through and through, so I feel like it’s a little of both: they wanted to talk to Dak, but looked around our house too. It felt invasive: why didn’t they wait outside? It’s the middle of the night, all our lights are off, it’s just weird.

I think about all the people who are harmed by police in their homes: were they groggy, half awake men like my husband, walking into flashlights unsure of what is going on? All those stories of “the wrong house” flooded back. Is this how it started?

Dak is already snoring again. I’m not sure he actually fully woke up. I did and my mind is racing. I’m sure I’ll have a better perspective in the morning.

So a few notes of clarification: whoever called the police didn’t use Dak’s name or number. It was apparently a hang-up call and the cell phone “pinged” near here and Dak’s name and phone number came up, but the address that came up was over on Iowa Ave, which is a few blocks north of us. A lot of what happened is a little fuzzy because we were all totally asleep when it happened, so sleep inertia got in the way of straight thinking. Dak doesn’t even think he woke up all the way.

I still don’t know what to think about the entire thing, except that it was scary. I understand that the police need to follow up on things like this, because who knows what it could have been. If there is a 911 hang-up, it could truly be someone in danger. I also imagine they weren’t really excited to show up to a darkened house where, supposedly, someone dialed 911. They don’t know what is waiting here for them. In our case, it was a bunch of confused, sleeping people, but at 1:40 in the morning on a Friday night/Saturday morning, lots of people are up, partying, doing all sorts of things. There was just a woman killed up the block from us last week. The police deal with a lot, especially on the east side.

At the same time, I have gotten less and less comfortable with the idea that they just came into our house with flashlights on rather than staying outside. Obviously we were sleeping. They were looking around our house with the flashlights and that seemed really invasive. Like I said in my post, this has to be how so many “accidents” or problems get started: a groggy person, half awake. Dak is a really mellow guy so he was not angry or frustrated or anything, just confused. I was scared – like shaking. But if someone wakes up and is annoyed or frustrated, I could see things escalating just based on something stupid like this – the wrong place, the wrong house. How many times have we heard that – the police end up in the wrong house and someone gets hurt?

Not just that, but looking around our house seemed weird. What were they looking for? I think the innocent answer is that they were making sure they were safe, but I’m not certain that’s the only thing they were looking for. I wonder how many times people get caught for minor offenses, simply because the police showed up in the middle of the night to confused people who didn’t think to ask them to wait outside? I don’t know how many, but it feels icky right now.

I’m tired and I need to get to bed. Hopefully we won’t go through that type of thing again. Hopefully no one does.