We got the clocks changed (I think we got them all; I probably need to fix the car still). Can we all agree to just leave them like this? This collective stupid time change thing needs to go. As I’ve gotten older, I have gotten more and more crotchety and cranky about this. I will admit, I love fall back, because I love to sleep, but my love for fall back is not worth this weekend of horror. I didn’t eat dinner until seven. I’m just getting tired, and it’s past my bedtime. My kids had trouble winding down. How is it that just 60 minutes causes so much havoc?

Not just that, but I start a new trimester tomorrow with all new kids and I feel like a brand new teacher again, nervous as hell that I’m going to fuck it all up and then have 13 weeks of terror. This hasn’t happened in 18 years of teaching, but it doesn’t matter: new classes, new kids, new school, new things I’m teaching… all the anxiety is there. It affects all my body systems too: my guts are sore, my eye is twitchy, and I feel like I can’t quite breathe. Sleeping is going to be tough.

I have things mostly planned for tomorrow – I spent like four hours just putting together plans for the first day. I should feel ready for it. But here I am with the Sunday night shakes. And it’s a lot later than I want it to be because of stupid daylight savings time.

There’s no upside to today’s blog – I’m just pretty cranky and pissy and anxious. I think that’s ok sometimes too. Tomorrow will come, and it will end, and maybe there will be some hope. That’s enough.