This is the angriest I’ve ever been about a news story – I’m referring to the mass murder of school children in Florida. In the past, I’ve been mainly shocked or sad. I remember how we watched tv and talked about Columbine with eyes wide and mouths open with shock. It seemed unthinkable. When the shootings happened in Red Lake, I cried for probably two weeks off and on. When the Bataclan was attacked in Paris, I wept.

A few months ago, I watched news coverage and read about the massacre in Las Vegas, but something was different. I was numb. I was sad and angry, but I think overall I just felt defeated. I didn’t want to argue (and if you know me, that’s rare). I didn’t even really want to think. But I wasn’t even surprised, except by the novel approach that gunman took.

This time, I’m pissed, and I don’t really know what to do with that. I am passionate about issues, but I usually dwell in thought and action rather than in emotions. This time is different. Every time I come across some fucking gun apologist, my shoulders come up, my eyebrows furrow, I tense up, everything. Thank God it’s generally been online.

I think I’m angry because the arguments made by the super gun advocates are so terrible. They literally defy common sense, and they just make these arguments without thinking. They are so extreme and so poorly thought out and it pisses me off that these terrible lines get repeated over and over and over. “It’s an inanimate object.” “We don’t have a gun problem, we have a people problem.” “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” (Notice how there are only guys in that sentence). And the worst crap is spread by trolls and bots all over Twitter without regard for the truth. That makes me angry because it makes me feel helpless to change anything.

I don’t understand why anyone with any common sense wouldn’t be okay with universal background checks. The biggest argument seems to be “well, it won’t catch everyone – bad guys will still get guns.” Sure, some, but those will be the mafia and major drug dealers, not some loner kid who doesn’t have connections. There is literally no program or law that is perfect; there is always some exceptions. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have the law.

Why not look into fingerprint scan technology for guns? It’s literally on all of our phones; it’s not that hard. Why can’t we raise the purchase age to 21 like we did with alcohol? Lots of 18 year olds are still in high school – do we want them to be able to purchase an assault rifle easily? Of course they’ll pass the background check – they’ve only been an adult for like five minutes; what could be on their record?

Why can’t we allow research of gun violence by the CDC and other government entities? We research everything else – why not this? That’s not even a restriction. The only group in the way is the National Rifle Association. The NRA is a front for gun manufacturers – that’s all. It maybe used to be all about gun safety and training, but it’s gone way off the rails. Responsible gun owners need to stand up to these people, my own family included.

So yeah, I’m still angry. I suppose it would help if I tried blocking out those posts for a while or just stepping away from Facebook for a while. That’s kind of sad, though, because while social media is a sad excuse for human connection, it’s still there in some ways, and I crave social interaction and discussion. I’m trying to work through it, because being this angry isn’t very healthy. Maybe it makes sense, given the situation, but it’s not good.