Today was the first day I stayed home sick since moving to Roseville. I “woke up” a little late – Dak came in and woke me up twice, actually – and got up to take a shower. I felt dizzy and after the shower, I just sat on my bed falling back asleep against my will. Finally I decided to call it in.

I hate missing work. It inevitably sets plans back, even with the very best subs, and making sub plans always feels scary because I am not sure if I am clear enough or if I need to give more information, etc. It’s worse when it’s not expected, because I can’t make sure the kids are aware of the expectations and what needs to be done by the time I get back. And my work space isn’t usually very straightened if I expect to be back the next day, so I worry. It’s my normal state of existence: worry.

It’s good that I stayed home though. After I got Annika off to the bus, I came back home and proceeded to sleep all day. I slept until lunch, when I had some ramen noodles and salad, then I went back to sleep until Dak got home with spicy food for dinner. I ate again, then went back to sleep again until about 7:30 or 8, when I got up to get ready for bed (seems so weird, but I wanted to brush my teeth and get a drink before laying back down). I’m writing now, but I really just want to go back to sleep.

I wonder what’s going on. I don’t feel especially bad except that I’m sore, a little sniffly/sneezy, and I’m EXHAUSTED. I didn’t get up at all today – I didn’t read, I didn’t check my email, I didn’t even scroll through social media much. I should probably go to the doctor because it’s been going on for a while, but that takes more time and honestly they’ll just say “oh, sounds like a virus,” which is true. It does sound like a virus. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to check my blood. I should actually have a sleep test done because I have such weird sleep patterns. I should probably also have my carpal tunnel problems checked out/fixed, which probably involves surgery.

All of these things involve time I don’t want to actually use on them, though. I just want my body to regenerate and heal itself while I eat crappy food and live an unhealthy lifestyle. Is that too much to ask!?

Ok yeah it is. I suppose I should call the doctor. Ugh. Tomorrow I’m going to school unless I physically can’t get up, even though I imagine I could sleep another day.

I’m going back to bed now.